Changed forever by the birth of Zayn
Opinion
To mark World Down Syndrome Day on March 20, Dr ROBERT WALLEY, founder of MaterCare International and a consultor to the Pontifical Council for Health pastoral Care, wrote about his own personal experience of the genetic condition following the birth of his grandson.
During the 35 years I was in practice as a specialist obstetrician in Canada, I worked in a teaching hospital unit caring for high-risk mothers during pregnancy or when emergency situations occurred during labour and delivery.
On a number of occasions there were babies unexpectedly born with Down syndrome.
Understandably, the initial reactions of the mother were tears, disbelief and then grief as the parents came to terms with their expectations for their child and the changes they would have to make which requires a certain amount of professional support but a great deal of faith and love from family members.
Obstetricians usually do not care for newborns following delivery as that is the responsibility of the neonatologist or their general practitioner. My understanding and experience would be changed forever by the birth of our 15th grandchild.
On April 2 2017 at a hospital in Newry, County Down, Northern Ireland, Michele was delivered by caesarean section of her third child. The family called us in Canada with the news the baby was healthy, a boy weighing 7 lbs 8 ozs. but he had Trisomy 21, Down syndrome. Our first reaction was perhaps best summed up with the word, ‘oh’ with immediate mixed negative thoughts of sadness and then concern for his parents.
The baby was our 15th grandchild, and we had had seven children. At 34 weeks Michele had an ultrasound which suggested the possibility of a life threatening problem which would require urgent surgery at birth. There was no suggestion of Down syndrome and they had declined further tests. As both mother and baby were well our reaction soon turned to thanksgiving.
Our grandson was baptised Zayn, which was a bit of a surprise, but I think it was a divinely inspired choice as the name means ‘beautiful’, for that is what he is. He has beautiful blue eyes and he just smiles contagiously which simply creates love all around him. He, and his beautiful attributes, are a very special gift to our family. The first to appreciate this was his six-year-old brother Jude who, once he understood that his younger brother was different, told his Daddy ‘Zayn will always be in my heart’.
Zayn’s first year of life has been difficult for him and his parents with medical complications resulting in two periods in intensive care at Royal Victoria Hospital in Belfast. The care he received in this unit was excellent and the nurses too came to love him dearly.
I write this not only as an obstetrician, but as a father and grandfather with a new understanding of Down syndrome that has been transformative for me but also for my wife and the rest of the family. I had no idea there was a World Down Syndrome Day on March 20.
These ‘beautiful’ people have an extraordinary ability to create warm, intimate, close, relationships with their gurgling laughter and smiles with lips and eyes that is love, which our world needs so badly. But sadly in most western countries most are being identified as being expensive tragedies and given no chance to live but are destroyed before birth.
Let us all hope that parents, and colleagues when faced with the diagnosis before birth of one of these children should reconsider carefully what they will do and never doubt their ability to change their attitude and to love one of the least of His children with wonderful results.
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