Counting their blessings
News
Nine years ago, Gerry Clarke read an article in The Advertiser stating that 95 per cent of families that know they are expecting a child with Down syndrome choose to terminate the pregnancy.
Not only did it prompt him to write a letter to the editor, it also was the catalyst to put into action an idea he had to write a sequel to his book Ryan’s Rainbow, about the first 18 years of his son Ryan’s life with Down syndrome.
That idea became a reality last month when My Name is Ryan was launched on World Down Syndrome Day at Bedford, Panorama, in front of 200 family, friends and work colleagues of Ryan’s.
Sales of Ryan’s Rainbow, published in 2003, exceeded Gerry’s expectations and attracted much interest from around Australia, including from John Farnham who sent Ryan a personal message and signed photograph after receiving a copy. A big Farnham fan and possessing a wealth of knowledge on all pop music, Ryan had been overwhelmed when he attended a concert, and the singer shook his hand and gave his mother Joyce a kiss.
Gerry’s writing days began when he was working in the public sector, writing creative staff newsletters and he even did a stint as deputy editor of The Southern Cross, working with former editor the late Nick Kerr.
The father of six and grandfather of 10 said he had often thought of writing about Ryan’s transition from school to work and moving into supported accommodation at Harrow House. But it wasn’t until he saw the article about the termination rate that he “took the next step”.
“I wanted more people to be aware of the joys of bringing up a child with a disability and seeing them develop into mature adults,” he said.
The Clarke clan
Since then, it’s been a “labour of love” as he put together reflections from Ryan’s siblings, his fellow workers and supervisors at Bedford where he has worked since 2005 and house mates such as Dougie whom he has known since they were at Cabra Dominican College together.
With a strong Catholic faith, the Hallett Cove parishioner titled one chapter of the book ‘Blessings’ which reflects on the words of his mother, Eileen Clarke (nee Moriarty) on hearing the news that Ryan was born with Down syndrome.
“Mum said that we had been specially chosen to raise Ryan and that we had been blessed by his birth,” Gerry writes.
“Mum’s words mean more to me each day as I experience Ryan’s special gifts and the impact he has had on our family and others whose lives he has touched.”
“We feel truly blessed to have him in our lives.”
The chapter references Roma Crowhurst’s poem God’s Special Child, with Gerry marvelling at how well the poem captures the journey travelled with Ryan.
In 1986, during the visit of Pope John Paul 11, Joyce and Gerry took Ryan to the airport to greet the Pope. As the Pope walked along greeting people, he stopped by Ryan, placed his hands on Ryan’s cheeks and gently kissed his forehead.
“Joyce and I looked on in stunned disbelief and took it as a sure sign that Ryan was, indeed, God’s Special Child,” Gerry says.
The chapter includes an assignment titled Blessings written by Ryan’s sister Lauren while she was a student at Sacred Heart College.
‘In a narcissistic, self-absorbed world, perhaps everyone having an extra chromosome would eradicate our shortcomings and underline the beauty of the human spirit,’ she wrote.
Gerry said Catholic education played a big part in shaping Ryan’s life from his time at St Ann’s Special School, mainstream schooling at St Martin de Porres School, Sheidow Park, followed by secondary education at St Mary’s Unit at Cabra.
Speaking at the book launch, older brother Dale spoke about Ryan’s intuition and sensitivity towards others. Whether it was an enthusiastic or gentle hug – but always a hug – “Ryan’s ability to be in tune with what a person might need emotionally is something that his siblings aspire to”.
“It’s powerful to read in the book about Mum’s insights too, not only how she shaped our family around Ryan but also dealt with the challenges of discerning when and how to encourage Ryan to chase independence and spread his wings.”
“Mum’s role in Ryan’s life and her love for Ryan has been enormous and certainly jump beyond what can be captured in a page.”
As for the close relationship between Gerry and Ryan, Dale said: “In the words of Forrest Gump, Dad and Ryan have been like peas and carrots since day one, or in their case like chips and coke, Ryan has always been head-over-heels in love with Dad.
“In fact, this book is simply a love letter from father to son, it’s a love story about this guy who arrived in our lives in 1985 almost 40 years ago and continues to give Mum, Dad and all of us more than we could ever give him.”
My Name is Ryan can be purchased through Bedford bedfordgroup.square.site. Paperback $29.95 Hardcover $49.95. All proceeds from the sale of the book go to Bedford.
